Desert Time

"Run to the desert

You will see all that you need to see

Run to the desert
You will be all that you need to be"

There is something to be said of the desert. Other places in the world foster life and and growth. The energy is continously moving, shifting, regenerating, and dying. These are the places that foster the actions of our lives. Desert time is much slower. Yes things move, shift, and die but the pace is much slower. The slower pace and the transferrence of energy allows the minds of humans to focus on their own energy and how to best use that energy efficiently and effectively.

Think of a slow-growing desert cactus. Each spine and subsequent arm are carefully grown according to envirionmental conditions. When humans and deserts combine the result is the conservation of energy and the refocusing of that energy to help our own souls. A time of reflection.

I have lived in the green places of the earth for my entire life. My energy was focused to the outer world, fostering the universe and caring for others souls. When the desert became a part of my life, it changed the focus of my energy inward. When we nourish ourselves we are therefore nourishing the entire soul of the world.

We are all given a special place in this world. With that place, comes lessons. Lessons that usually help us to comprehend and understand the world around us or the world inside of us. When difficulties arise in either of those places it's hard to remember that everything has happened for a reason. The feelings I have for another human are exactly how I'm supposed to feel. By questioning those emotions that are hiding inside of our hearts, souls, and minds it helps us to interpret how our subconscious feels about the world. It makes those background thoughts and emotions tangible. Feelings, or rapid firings of synapse, are ones that have never been fired before. Making it our job and duty to unearth what in the wold we are Actually feeling. And why those feelings are there. The interpretation of those feelings is what maturity is. Immaturity is taking our initial feelings about the person and the situation at face value. It is taking the "why?!?!!!" out of our feelings and just letting those emotions run their course. Maturity is having the strength to step away from those feelings and questions and really understand where they are coming from.

All of the feelings that we express are a choice. Which would make me livid when my dad would say that. I hated that speech more than anything. Now, I understand what he was trying to communicate. That the there are two steps to every emotion. Feeling the initial emotion and then expressing that emotion.

Recently, I expressed bitterness to someone I cared about. After my initial response I pulled the reigns in and analyzed WHY?. I lashed out because I was excited to see them and was sad when they weren't as excited to see me.

The idea of being the person in a relationship who likes the other person MORE than that other person likes them is unnerving.

I hate the doubt and questions that go on inside my head .

Chaos and inner turmoil

When pyramids are stacked correctly, balanced,
and all things going according to plan.

Chaos, like a pesky raven, perches atop your balanced tower of life and skews the well-laid blocks.

When humans accept their unhappiness and chaos, it becomes a mantra and creates peace within. This peace evolves into happiness and light; creating a space in hearts, where happiness and love may enter. These intruding feelings are quickly subdued with doubt. Positive happenings, summon protective defenses that create inner turmoil, in an effort to ease the onslaught of happiness creeping into our lives.

Happiness is a foreign feeling. Inner turmoil is the human condition and even when things are happening in the best possible way, it descends on us like a plague.

I breathe and focus on the good things and try remembering the pleasure in the ride. The universe only means to teach me, and may end in sadness. If that is the case, through my sadness, Valuable lessons will educate on the path of life.